My Life In China...So Far

Many people asked me to start a blog during my time here in China. I of coarse felt obligated to say "Yeah, I definitely want to!" but once I got here and settled down I struggled with the idea of starting a blog. Why? Because I feel like there is this unwritten rule that says: when you go on adventure you need to tell everyone how perfect it is. No one should know about the hardships. Just the joy. I disagree with this notion. In life, I find that it is through the hardships that we learn the most. Not only that, but they also make the good seem so much better. Now, my intent for this blog is not to rant and rave about how miserable I am (since I'm not). Rather, I want to be open and honest about the ups and the downs of living in another country. There are many things that my classes, previous trips, and other experiences have taught me, but there are just certain aspects of living overseas that are hard (if not impossible) to prepare for.

When I first arrived in China I spent several days in Beijing doing training and moved to Tianjin not long after. I worked for about a week and then it was a week off for the Chinese New Year! I was happy to be here for this time of year, but also felt very lonely. I have never felt so secluded in my entire life! While it was fun to go exploring and walk around to different places and learn the new environment, I had no friends in the area. Within one week I felt as though I was being grown in new ways. All of the cultural differences and other adjustments seemed to pale in comparison and I felt overwhelmed, but as time has gone on, I have developed relationships with others in the area and people at work. This has filled me with so much joy! I believe that that initial time has made me value my relationships with others even more than I had before. It has deepened my love for my family and given me a new perspective on my friendships.

I suppose that in my first blog entry I should address all of the "omg that's so weird" things that people always ask me about. Regarding this category everyone asks me about the food. Well, I haven't eaten anything weird yet. YET. I make my own food most of the time. The school provides lunch for the teachers and staff at the school. I gladly eat it. WHYYY would anyone ever turn down free food!?!? So far there was one dish that I could not get myself to swallow. I'm not sure, but I think it was garlic that had been boiled and covered in some kind of sauce. Buuuuuut I don't know. I guess that's the weirdest thing is sometimes I don't know what I'm eating. I just eat it. Maybe sometimes it's best not to ask questions. To the extent of my knowledge no one has fed me dog. Another thing people ask about is the driving. Yes, it is scary at times. No, there are no seat belts. That's that. Luckily, if I'm taking a taxi usually I'm so distracted by the driver asking me a bunch of questions despite my comments of "ting bu dong" (I don't understand). Taking the bus is sometimes an adventure as well. Naturally, everything is written in hanzi (the chinese characters), so you really need to know exactly where you are going. Lastly, it is very easy for Chinese people to peg me as a foreigner. I mean, the last time I looked in the mirror I don't recall me looking very Asian. Another thing that often times frustrates foreigners in China are the points and stares that you can get just by doing day to day activities. The points and stares don't bother me as much as the doting does. It seems common for people to treat me differently than they would other Chinese. It's not uncommon for me to get served lunch before my Chinese co-workers and am sometimes offered a seat on the bus (usually done only for elderly, disabled, or parents with young kids). Being my individualistic American self who doesn't want any special treatment, this takes some adjusting. However, it is good to remember that this is done as an act of respect and not them believing that I am incapable of doing something. Some days, I just have to leave my pride at the door and be a gracious guest in a foreign country. 

Another aspect of being here that I have struggled with is this sense of "God has called me here." Maybe this goes along with the concept of making everything look perfect that I was talking about before. But, as I was preparing to come here people back home would often use this language when talking about my move. I guess I never felt called. Maybe led is a better term. This is something that I still am struggling through, so any insights are welcome! I never got that sense of greater purpose that I suppose one should get before going through such an adjustment. The way I saw it was that I was just another recent grad who had a rough time getting a job. I felt (and still feel) that I was led here out of necessity. Maybe that is what a calling can be though. Maybe the word "calling" just scares me. 

I suppose I should actually mention my work as an ESL teacher too. I teach 6 classes every day, each is 20-30 minutes (depending on age group). I teach 3 Kindergarten classes and 3 Nursery (ages 2-3). I have never been the most confident in my skills as a teacher and working with kids that young is a certainly a challenge. However, there are so many opportunities and the kids seem to like me. It is fun having an excuse to be my ridiculous self. Classroom management is my least favorite thing and is the most difficult when you don't speak their language. It's easy to teach them English, if they aren't hitting each other. I am slowly learning. Every day I find that I am being challenged in some new way. 

There are so many details that I don't want to bore you with about my life in China and I could rant forever about my experience, so if you have any questions, please ask! Insights and words of advice are always welcome as well!